Fear and Loathing in Flamekeep (Ayanna)

From Toosigma

Title	Fear and Loathing in Flamekeep
Author	Philip Mann - Ayanna
Campaign	Shattered Prisons
Session	Fear and Loathing in Flamekeep
Posted
Game Date

Several days now into our journey with many more to go, the refugees have settled into a routine that I found remarkable. The children gather in a few carts, watched by the same mothers who watched them back in Silvervale as they play. Those who I most often saw tending fields throughout the year now tend the wagons and animals as they travel during the day. Marius and Malidin, leaders respected by all it seems, settle disputes and calm nerves in much the same way as I observed in the past. From my outside perspective, it is almost as if the persona of the whole village remains intact though the people move farther from my homeland.

Even I have returned to my place for the most part, drifting back to the periphery and spending the days of travel a horizon's distance from the activity of the villagers while I try to keep an eye out for trouble. Dreamseeker and the others are always with me, and we have taken occasion to play and chase each other around. We normally do so only when away from the people who are still not used to seeing a wolf constantly with them. Windchaser thinks their reactions are strange since I do not really look like a wolf to him, reasoning that my blond/white fur and blue eyes should be a giveaway to anyone.

“Besides,” he added with a mischievous wink, “what self-respecting wolf would wear jewelry on her ears?” I thought to tell him something, anything, but he pounced causing me to trip over myself before I could find a reason for the trinkets. That afternoon we chased about so long we had to run to catch the caravan which had long passed from sight to the east. I wondered briefly as we neared the wagons if Malidin, in his belief that almost constant toil is demanded by his God, would frown on our play. I concluded that he might, but he might also find his own amusement in it.

At night, the traveling village observes many of the rituals that they did before the exodus. Families gather to take food, the men collect around what was rescued from the inn, and those of the cloisters minister all who wish to take comfort in their sermons. The only difference now is that a watch is maintained throughout the night, and I venture near to ensure the animals are doing well. I have to be careful though as not to startle the people who may be around. Two nights ago, I heard one of the older men on watch near the livestock tell his relief that he nearly fired his crossbow, but stayed his hand only when none of the animals reacted to the wolf intruding among them.

“That damn girl,” he told the younger man, “she near scared the life out of me sneaking up like that. Doesn't she know we can't tell one of them critters from the next?”

“Ya know Pa, I don't think she cares,” the relief countered.

“That's just foolish. Why don't she want to look like a normal elf anymore?” the elder posed.

“As long as she sticks with us, I don't much care what she looks like,” the younger said. “But I do miss seeing that pretty woman around though. Odd as she acts most times, she is something wonderful to look at.”

“I hear ya,” the elder agreed. “I hear ya.”

The pair exchanged some more conversation and pleasantries before the elder returned to his family's wagon toward the rear of the caravan. I watched him go and considered for a moment that he might be right, that I should walk among them as they are accustomed. However, Nature is change, and as I must grow beyond the boundaries of my home, these people must too adapt to the way I change as a small element of their world. If their adaptation means that they learn to tolerate or despise me, I must leave that to them.

Malidin found me tending the animals and appraised what I was doing. He reassured me that I was doing right, that I was helping the village even if they did not realize it. He termed that I was some sort of guardian for the village, but I feel so under foot all of the time.

“I just do what I know,” I told him, expressing how little I believed I could be helping. He seemed to disagree but did not wish to argue about it.

Instead, he asked if I had been scouting and whether I had seen anything to be worried about. I told him that I had not, but since I was about to leave when Malidin approached, that I would accompany him if he liked. He surprised me a little when instead of patrolling the area he headed off of the trail and into the woods.

“Privacy,” he said though I did not understand. He explained that he wanted to have time alone, though “alone” meant time with me and not really alone as I understand the term. Just away from the interruptions that were constant around the caravan. Malidin is so busy with the people in he caravan day after day, and those who call on him most evenings, so I felt very flattered that the time he is able to get away and spend any way he likes he chooses to spend some of it with me. Mayhap things will always be as such...

It is strange that we talk and I feel at once stupid and small, and welcome and wise. I do not understand his jokes that come so easily, but he makes me feel that he really wants to know what I am thinking. He tells me of how wonderful his home is and how I will enjoy it, but he seems to miss Silvervale as well. We talked about many things in the time we shared, to a point where I could not longer tell who was comforting who. Mayhap we find comfort in each other and that is why I came on this journey, and why he chooses to spend time with me. I suppose this explains why his absence was felt the moment he walked back to the caravan...

Unusually quiet the whole time, Windchaser spoke to me in a whispering tone as if Malidin might hear. “'Do you have any children',” he teased, “no need to guess where your mind is.”

“Is not!” I recoiled. “I just wanted to know something I hadn't thought to ask before!”

“You keep believing that,” he insisted. “I'm just trying to picture what those pups would look like.”

I glared at the wolf spirit. He laughed.

“I love ya anyhow,” he said in an odd combination of earnestness and jest. “And I've already got dibs on the rest of your time!”

I stood and turned to leave the small clearing where Malidin brought me. “You're so sweet,” I said to Windchaser with a wink.

Days later and beyond the lightning rail markers, I encountered the road that would take the caravan to Lathleer and our small group beyond. The road was very well established, far more traveled than any I had seen before, giving me the sense of the size of the town and its importance to the civilized folk. There were caravans already on the route, many far larger than our own and laden with goods instead of people. Did these traders have no sense of using and also conserving what might be available to them? I understood the idea of trade, but to have so much excess that one can peddle wares on such a scale smacks of wasteful habits of these city dwellers. However, the plains have become wide and the territory vast, so I think I will part from the caravan early and meet Malidin and the others on the far side of the Lathleer in a day or two...

I met with the rest of the group on the far side of Lathleer, but was surprised to discover that the caravan had not turned south as planned. Malidin told me that here was a change of plans enforced by the Aundairan government that wished only for the refugees to pass on to Thrane as quickly as possible. Once we passed the boarder however, the refugees were likewise not welcome. Thrane saw fit to provide soldiers to ensure the entire caravan made it unmolested to Flamekeep.

The road through the plains was wide and open, and having the military escort served to relieve some of the hesitation that I had about straying too far from the caravan. Some mornings I was beyond the horizon before the caravan began to move, but I would always return shortly after dusk. Two days across the boarder I stood on a hill looking upon the caravan as it passed. I watched the military escort ahead and behind the carts, and I remembered how I had hated the Aundairians for being evil though I had only my own experience to judge. In spite of what Firella did to me, they did not raze the village and defile the forest as I had imagined. In fact, they had seemed to be genuinely concerned for the well being of Silvervale if not so much for specific citizens there. It was wrong of me to vent my anger as I did to Keradin, and I regret that I was not able to resolve what what issues Firella had with me before she went missing in Wyr. May she live in peace.

I enjoyed a rare day as an elf before I met the caravan as it stopped for the evening. It had rained the night before and I spent most of the afternoon in a meadow just beyond the hills to the south. I found a beautiful red wild flower and, on an impulse, picked it and placed it in my hair. Early into the evening as I busied myself at the caravan however, I found myself hearing giggles and murmuring on the wind that seemed to indicate something was going on. Out of the corner of my vision I saw Lianna watching my menial activities with some small interest, so I asked her what all of the activity was about.

“Well,” she said as she cocked her head slightly, “it's you, silly.”

“Me?” I inquired.

“Yes, you,” Lianna insisted. “Everyone is curious about who the lucky guy is.”

I was shocked at the inference. “Um, 'lucky guy'? Why would there be a 'lucky guy'?”

She pointed at my flower as if to indicate something I should know.

“It's a flower, Lianna. There is a whole meadow of them not far from here.”

“Yes, but,” she hesitated. “Oh dear! You don't know. No. Of course. Why would you?”

“Why would I what?”

Lianna chuckled to herself while she explained that I had put the flower above my left ear, and that was supposed to mean that my heart belonged to another. I did not understand the custom, I simply put it where it felt right, but she assured me that it had a very strong cultural meaning.

“That is why everyone is giggling,” she concluded with a grin.

“So, if I put it over my right ear?” I asked.

“That would mean that you are available to be courted.”

My confused look prompted her to explain what being “available” meant.

Eventually, I breathed a sigh and resigned that I was not allowed to wear flowers in this culture because I am neither “taken” or “available” as Lianna described their meaning. I carefully removed the delicate flower and handed it to her.

“I am sorry to have troubled everyone,” I told her. “I have a long distance to cross before I understand so many things...”

Lianna smiled warmly. “Nobody expects you to be perfect, Ayanna.”

She left and in minutes the sounds of the caravan were much as they had been in nights past. I finished tending the horses and I moved to the oxen where I found Cloud already there.

“You caused a stir here today, didn't you?” he queried in a teasingly paternal tone.

“I didn't mean to,” I replied. “I just felt like wearing a flower, something simple, you know?”

“I can imagine.” He paused as if searching for something to say. “It looked good though,” he reassured.

“Thank you.”

Cloud, Windchaser, and I conversed for a long while until the former said that he had actually come to get Windchaser for the pack leader. It seemed there was something else on Cloud's mind, but he did say anything. I had been around these wolves and could read their moods far better than I could read people, but I also knew better than to try to prod the information out of him before he was willing to simply tell me. The two departed into the night, with only Windchaser returning shortly before dawn.

The caravan traveled and rested in a pattern that was so regular that it became easy to know exactly where they would be. Days trudging along and quiet nights marked the events of the caravan, and I continued to travel farther to the north and south along the route every day. When the caravan passed through a settlement, I kept my path very wide so I could avoid the village and any nearby troubles. I only got so close that I could see the outlying farms, and the condition of many made me proud of what Silvervale had accomplished in my few seasons there. Malidin was right in that I would see and learn a great deal in my travels, and it began to make sense why he too would miss my homeland though he was only there for a short while.

In spite of my deliberate distance, I have found myself growing closer to these people in our weeks of travel than I had been in the two years before. Some, whose names I knew only in passing, have become familiar in face and voice to me, and I am told that there are fewer by the day who yet regard me as “witch”. It would be arrogant of me to think that the refugees depended on me in some way in spite of Malidin's insistence, but I have felt purposeful during this exodus. I began by simply looking out for the animals who were being pushed so hard, but I found myself mending harnesses and cleaning equipment throughout many quiet nights. Menial tasks really, but the hours I spend working are hours that a father can be with his children instead.

The night before we would arrive at Flamekeep, I busied myself mending the canvas of a wagon that had come apart in the wind. The work was intricate, but not so detailed that it required my undivided attention, so I was able to keep engaged in a conversation with Windchaser. I was conversing aloud, occasionally getting odd looks from people who could hear only my side of the conversation when he suddenly went quiet just a moment before I heard Ghoststalker's lordly voice behind me.

“Oh, how very domesticated,” he commented to the others. “Tell the ape, Windchaser. Tell it that the Man pack seems to welcome her now so she should just stay with them.”

I turned to see Windchaser simply bow his head and tuck his tail at the domineering Alpha's comments. I looked to the others, hoping mayhap just one would say something, but Ghoststalker was the undisputed leader of the pack and all treated his words with respect even if they did not sit well in their hearts. Only Shadow met my gaze, with just a mote of sympathy behind what would otherwise be a dare to say anything directly to the Alpha. I bowed my head in submission to his status, and Ghoststalker scoffed as he and the others left, even Windchaser.

I considered Ghoststalker's words as I slowly finished what I had started. I thought how I missed my forest home, but I have found the longing in my heart to return eased somewhat by watching the people and families who have suffered and lost far more than me. The refugees have had their world destroyed, loved ones killed, and horrible conditions forced upon them, yet they remain strong for each other. I do not yet know what is in store for us, but I know that I would consider it in my future to settle beside what remains of the village of Silvervale, wherever that may be.

Miles before Flamekeep came into view, I could feel my growing apprehension toward our imminent arrival in the huge city. When the walls shown beyond the hills before me, I felt my stomach begin to protest the horrible scar on the land. How could people, any people, do this to the land that supports them? The closer we approached, the worse the situation appeared. Once close enough, I could see that the city had claimed the whole of a small island! Surely those who built this terror must have enjoyed destroying the land, for none could be so accidentally destructive as to wipe every plant and creature off of an island.

When we approached so near that I could smell the city's stink on the wind, I was grateful to learn that the caravan would not be admitted, for them as well as myself. The people and carts were diverted to an area off of the road that brought us to the city, and I accompanied them to help establish a camp that could well be their home for a long while. Neither the nation or city wanted the refugees regardless of circumstances, so they had naught to do but wait and try to preserve their way of life until they can find another place to call home.

All of the “adventurers” left for various corners of Flamekeep, and I forced myself to remain as an elf to avoid any entanglements with the thousands of people in the area that might believe me to be harmful as a wolf. It felt strange, almost as if I was in some sort of disguise as I walked among the refugees to assist them in any way I could.

It was not long before a messenger approached and silently handed me a note before he left. The note bore a symbol, not unlike an arrowhead of some sort, that I imagine to be important to the person that sent it but had no meaning to me. I read it twice and determined that it must be for Marius or Malidin, but in any case it certainly was not intended for me. So, I tucked the message away and went back about my business around the camp until Marius arrived and I gave him the note. He informed me of what the group had been doing and that they were all meeting at an inn somewhere within the walls of the city, so he did not insist that I join him.

Marius departed, taking the message with him, but I was again met by a messenger wearing the same symbol as on the front of the message. This young man told me that he was here to escort me specifically to the meeting with the person who had sent the message from before. I could not imagine who he was actually looking for, but he insisted that I was that person. Thinking that there could be something delicate that Malidin or one of the other adventurers might need help with, I steeled myself for the trip inside of the walls and followed the messenger.

As soon as I passed within the gates I could feel a distance between myself and the natural world. Shuffling people between towering buildings, and a cacaughany of sounds and assailing smells that defied explanation. I found myself staring at the interlocked cobbles on the ground, trying to isolate myself from my surroundings through distraction of counting them. I was so relieved to encounter Malidin along the way, but he had no answer about the meeting either. Instead, and something that made me very grateful, he decided to accompany me to whatever I had been summoned for. Along the way we heard the sounds of battle and he responded as only Malidin could. I did not see what was happening beyond the corners because the world before me was a diminishing alley that seemed far too tight to get down, and far too restrictive to be anything but a trap. Still, Malidin charged in and took warring to what amounted to be an enemy. The apprehensive demeanor of my escort seemed to evaporate after the brief engagement which, as it turned-out, involved others who I traveled with that were already participating in the conflict.

They must all think me a foolish and fearful girl, but I pray not a single one of them learns to see the world through my eyes. I do not want any to feel a mountain on top of them, the crushing stones pinning them helpless but not killing them. I pray none ever have to live in a world where every wall, every ceiling, and every cave will collapse and cover their bodies until the end of time...

We arrived at a the destination, a small and dark tavern beyond the towering edifice of the Silver Flame. Finally I had a reference for what the strange symbol was, but I am even more confused now as to why someone from the Church of the Silver Flame would even be interested in whether or not I was alive let alone, as the tone of the note, be relieved by it. If not someone in the party, then whoever this person is that wishes to see me must have mistaken me for someone else, though the suffocating surroundings and being escorted inside prevented me from pondering the question any more even as a distraction.

The woman behind the bar seemed somehow familiar, but only in passing as I could draw nothing from my memory save the sense that I had seen her before. She did not seem happy with that Hazairah girl though, enchanting her in-place when she attempted to follow my escort upstairs. Malidin was allowed with me, and I was doubly grateful as we ascended the cramped stairs together and I felt the air leaving me. I had to grasp onto the dwarf's solid shoulder to keep my balance and to reassure myself that, no matter what happened, my friend was with me and I was not alone.

Once ushered into a tiny darkened room, we were greeted by a young girl. I found out that this girl was actually the Keeper of the Flame, head of the Church of the Silver Flame, and were I not trying to simply keep my wits within the confined places I had been taken to, I might have considered it odd that she had any interest in me. It was clear that she knew of Malidin, or rather his father, and I was momentarily relieved that he had some connection to this whole event. That relief was short lived however, as the girl seemed to want to verify that I was who she thought I was without telling me who that might be. I found it easy to let Malidin speak to her on my behalf as I watched the walls that seemed to be moving closer by the minute.

The girl conveyed information to us that Trina Laster was in danger from one of her Cardinals. This Krozen evidently had some plans to use little Trina to depose her and seize control of the church somehow for himself. I certainly could not care at all about the power struggles within a church so linked to garish buildings like those within this city, but I would throw myself before a dragon to save the life of a child. She suggested that we keep the young girl safe, but it became clear as we left that “safe” and “with us” seemed to be the same thing in the mind of my friend. I could not fault his thinking for he is far more worldly than I will probably ever be, and he understands the intrigues of the church as he is himself in that profession.

We returned to the caravan and discussed the matter with Trina's parents. Malidin reasoned with them, and they accepted that their daughter was safer with us than staying with them. When Arna began sobbing, I too shed a tear for her. No mother should be separated from her daughter while the two both live, and no person can express greater trust than the Lasters did when they placed the care of their daughter into our hands. I will never take that responsibility to be second.

I was a little dismayed when we discussed the matter surrounding Trina with the others. It seemed that there was some sort of job arranged already with this Krozen, and the whole group save me seemed to believe it a good idea to carry on that job while trying to protect Trina. I was alarmed at the proposition to bring the girl right to the person who we have been told wishes to use her somehow, but I said nothing because everyone else was so fixated on their plan. And me, I knew nothing beyond what I was told, so there must be a depth to the plan that my weak little mind cannot grasp. I felt so stupid that I could not see the reasoning that is so clear to everyone else, but I have faith in my friends that they will not endanger Trina for any reason. I also know that I could not protect her without them.

When we first arrived on the ship there seemed to be a great deal of tension among my companions as they did their tactical best to keep Trina in a safe position. Within a day however, that passed as various parts of the ship became of interest to them. I remained on deck and never left Trina's side until Malidin and Marius took her below. Members of the crew stayed clear of me, which I considered a benefit of their perceptions of wolves. I have seen how they ogle that Hazairah girl, but she seems to welcome it or she just does not notice, I cannot tell which...