City of Towers (Ayanna)

From Toosigma

Title	Astarriel's Heart
Author	Philip Mann - Ayanna
Campaign	Shattered Prisons
Session	Astarriel's Heart
Posted	April 14, 2007
Game Date	April 7, 2007

Hazera gave a passionate speech about the need to secure Flamekeep and reinforce it from the army that drove my village across two nations. I did not care the purpose of the army--to destroy or capture--and whatever her ties to the Silver Flame, these things were of no consequence to me. It was for the people and their safety that I threw my lot in with her; the people and Trina.

We agreed that Sharn was the place to go to get answers and to find information about where to go next, so we boarded the airship and pointed it to the southwest.

Days passed before we came over the mist I remembered from our ship landing across the river from the Mournland. Hazera cautiously inclined the ship skyward, but it was already too late. Marius and I saw the other ships climbing from below toward us, so I took the form of an eagle to get a better look. This proved to be another mistake on my growing list of them.

I got within sight of the ships and could just recognize the warforged aboard when I saw two of the ones that look like me leap into the air and fly after me. They were faster than me, so I dove to gain some distance but they turned to follow. Nothing I tried could slow them as they gained on me, so I called an elemental of the air to help carry me back to where I would be safe, back to Malidin.

I barely made it back to the ship ahead of them, but Malidin and Marius were already engaged with others attacking. When I landed on the deck, one of me attacked again and again. I tried my best to aid the others, to give Brit what healing I could, but nothing I did was enough. This woman was relentless and driven in a way I have never seen, and I fell under the blows from her glittering blades.

Brit fixed me with his talents, but I think that did as much to set me apart as it did to mend my wounds. He did not harm me, and he did not invade my modesty, but to know that he could probably build my body anew given time made me feel uneasy. Not so much because of Brit, but because of the idea that I may not remember who I am because I am not even the same person. When I was told what happened during the attack, I had to consider that this body could have been made along with the others like it, but somehow what has become me is not what I was built for.

Days passed and reached the towering city. It was huge, like a mountain of man-carved stones protruding from the landscape. Fairhaven had been gigantic and sprawling in my memory, but nothing could have prepared me for what I saw as we sailed over the guardian walls. I had never imagined so many airships and people all over, flitting from tower to tower by any imaginable means. The city itself, like islands stacked together, all so busy that it all soon became a blur. Even as the half elf came aboard, I still gawked at the sea of flesh and stone what seemed miles below and all around us.

We journeyed to a place where Marius knew someone, but I think everyone determined that this person was not there. I don't remember, I was lost in the brilliant windows and a space that could have held many times all of Silvervale together! Somehow, we wound up some many levels below in front of a place called the Diamond Theater. People were moving in and out, some avoiding me entirely which I found strangely comforting since it gave me some space. I stayed next to Malidin the whole time, which I think was a good thing since it was that Hazera girl that was thrown into the street instead of me.

After what seemed like a failed attempt to get inside I figured we would follow some other direction, but I was surprised again when Marius acquired some sort of ticket from a shifty-looking fellow around the corner. It didn't seem right, but the city had me a bit disoriented anyhow, so I just considered that if Malidin was going along with whatever was going on, I would go along with Malidin.

We were ushered to a little room that only had a short wall so we could see the stage. The short wall was a little too high for me to see over, so I abandoned my wolf form and took a seat next to everyone. When the performance began, a beautiful pageant of colors and people came onto the stage. Among them was a tall, fiery-haired songstress seemed in the lead role sang with a voice that conveyed the feelings of the story in a way I had never imagined. As the performance continued, I found myself drawn into the tale. I could feel the highs and lows of everything, and the songstress kept glancing around as if making everyone feel that she was singing to them and nobody else. Truly, she was a master of her art and I had a little hope that the bard which Hazera sought would be this woman so that I might hear her sing again.

Suddenly, in the middle of a tremendous note, the songstress' voice cracked into a sharp squeal and she ran off of the stage. The performance stopped, everyone frozen where they were, and I hoped that she had not suddenly become ill. When minutes passed, the crowd began to get restless and I saw the performers fidgeting as another girl came out from the back in the same costume. At the same time, we all heard a knock at the door of our little room, and my first thought was that we had gotten in trouble because of the tickets.

Instead of authorities outside, the door was opened by a huge gargoyle! He spoke to me, or at me, as if nobody else was in the room. He said things that brought back what the Keeper of the Flame had said, things about me being someone they knew. Marius challenged him, but he ultimately asked if I and everyone would come with him to a place called the “eyrie”. I thought it strange that he would want me to go to his nest, but my thoughts were cut off by the songstress who left the stage. She was in tears, and smiling, exclaiming things about me being a live and coming back. Before I could take a step beyond the door of our little room, she had her arms around me and I was holding to me as if I was a long lost love. I had no idea...

The whole group was escorted a distance up but not far away, and into an inn named the “Gargoyle's Eyrie”; okay, now the reference made sense. The whole trip the songstress, Kayli her name, never let go of me. She was much taller, my head coming just to her shoulders, but she kept both arms wrapped around me. She did not hinder me, and it was as if she was trying to singly keep me from leaving her, but I did not feel I should run in a place so huge, where I could catch only glimpses of the sky. Besides, Malidin and Marius were never out of reach of me so I felt very safe.

Inside, another gargoyle jumped from above the bar to the floor and stepped toward me. He looked so menacing, but a single step backward stopped his advance. He looked puzzled, but that turned into shock when an older woman dropped a whole tray behind the bar. She stood there staring at me and an older man behind her told all of his patrons that they were closing right this minute. I was so shocked that I could not speak; I could only allow myself to be drawn upstairs by Kayli and her parents.

On the balcony, I heard tales of someone called “Naomi”. I knew right away that this family had lost a great deal in this woman because they described her in so many grand deeds and virtues, but the same characteristics told me that they could not be speaking of me. Kayli described not my past, but the lives of a person at the center of so many fireside fairytales. I balked, but then the songstress showed me the ear cuff she wore; it was exactly like mine! She said I made them, both of them, and gave the one to her. I felt my stomach sink as the one material part of my past that I had ever known was explained to me.

My brain was trying in vain to absorb the information when Hazera, in what I see now as a very mean thing, told Kayli that she simply had to let go. She told the woman that it didn't matter if I was someone special to her once, that I was a new person with a new life and that she would just have to let me be who I am now. Kayli ran downstairs crying. I believe Hazera was speaking from her own experience, good and bad, that she had somehow been reborn and now hated someone she once loved, but to crush Kayli as she did was wrong. I didn't want to think about it though, I already had too much to consider. What I needed was to get some air.

The hour was late and I wandered out into the night. The gargoyle Cald and Marius both came after me, as if each was trying to protect me from the other. They stayed behind and didn't try to console me. Even when I asked Marius to tell me something that made sense, he simply shook his head.

I found a park and the greenery made me feel a little better right away. There was a bench there, and I sat on it to think. My shadows remained a distance away, and I could hear them conversing quietly in what sounded like mumbles in my throbbing head.

Within a couple of hours I guessed, the sun rose over the horizon in a brilliant display that made me forget anything but this moment. I saw colors that I had never imagined, even when I watched the sunrise over the plateau back home. For those moments, everything seemed more vibrant and pure than anything I remembered since I awoke in the stone circle.

My thoughts drifted on this longer than I should have lingered. When I emerged from my reverie, I found Marius and Cald still standing there, but Marius was clearly hanging on by will alone. He was exhausted so I went to him and asked that he please get some rest. We had been granted stay at Kayli's home, so we returned there and I continued thinking about all that had happened. I needed guidance, and I knew just one person that I trusted: Malidin.

I found his room and asked to come inside. I needed to talk to him in private, and the common areas of the inn seemed to all be within the purview of the gargoyles. He let me in and I closed the door.

“Malidin,” I began, “I need your help.”

“Aye,” he said questioningly.

I took a breath and threw my plea at him. “I need your advice. These people have lost a lot, and I could comfort them, but should I?”

The wise dwarf understood my problem. “Should ye let them believe their prayers have been answered, ye mean?”

“Yes, I think that's it,” I said. “I don't think I am who they think I am, but should I allow them to keep thinking it? Should I break their hearts again when I leave and don't come back? Should I just put them off now and deal with the grief now?”

“What if yer wrong?” Malidin asked unexpectedly. “What if yer past is here, with them?”

“Do you think they are right? That I'm this 'Naomi' person?”

"I do not know,” he stated. “Things seem to line up, time-wise." Mal looked up at the ceiling in contemplation. "It seems to be the only answer,” he continued, “but the only answer isn't always the right answer. I think you must take it to heart, and consider the fact that it could be reality. On the other hand, you may just be kidding yerself, wanting or not wanting it to be real."

Malidin paused for a moment before his expression changed into one having an epiphany. "Perhaps some sort of test?” he proposed. “If they pass the test, then you have your answer."

He was not trying to confuse me, but I could scarcely have imagined being more puzzled.

"A test?" I asked him. "How do I know the result when I don't know the answers? No," I stopped myself, waving my hands as if that would erase what must have sounded as a challenge, "I'm sorry, I came to you for help not to question your wisdom. Please, tell me what I must do."

Malidin sighed. "Ayanna, aye, these people have a good story, and I canna see a reason why they would lie. I don't know that they are telling the truth, so, it may be a good idea to keep them as a friend, 'case we be needin' some down the road." Malidin looked deep into my eyes, "We have a lot left to do and see, and I do not wanna loose you to these people in this big city. It seems neither on o' us know the truth about your past before we met, but we know that we are a great team, and we have much to do in the future. Whatever your decision is, I will support ye. As far as asking for me wisdom, it is obvious that this group has a deep emotional bond to ye. We did meet the one in the theater, so it could all be an act, but it honestly seems genuine to me. Regardless, we have a responsibility, and I believe we take action together in the future."

“Malidin,” I said as I gently took his right hand in both of mine. “Malidin, you can't lose me.”

I lifted his hand lightly to my face and closed my eyes to block the world outside. I brushed his hand with my cheek, thinking how solid and real the smith's skin felt against me compared to the fanciful love Kayli described. “You are more than a companion that I travel with, more than even a friend to me.” I paused before explaining more. “Part of me wants their story to be true, to know a past with love and family, and people around who all care about me.”

I then turned my lips to his hand and letting them linger for a moment. Slowly I opened my eyes and turned them to look into Malidin with complete sincerity.

“But, part of me wants it to be a mistake,” I began, “so I can just go on being Ayanna. So we can save Trina and take her back home. So we can eventually build the home you spoke of, mayhap where ever Silvervale settles. A place where I can curl up next to you by the fire watching you brew your ale and listening to your stories from youth and family.”

I lowered his hand back down between us but did not let it fall. I knew that I could know this man in the way Kayli explained her feelings for Naomi, but I had to know the truth before I could let it go. “But I’m stuck in between right now. I think I need to let them try to convince me so I can learn of what may have been my past, or I may never know the truth either way.”

He watched me leave his room without a word. I could not tell what he was thinking or feeling, but I knew he would be there for me when I got this all sorted out.

I spent the bulk of the day in various forms looking around the upper areas of the great city. I was amazed to see the number and variety of people all around. I saw many warforged walking among the humans and elves, and there were other races about which I had never seen before. My thoughts often drifted to Kayli and what she said, and every time I felt as if I was peering into her heart. Through the magical ear cuff I could tell she was happy, and so genuinely warm and loving that I had to remind myself how Malidin said it could all be an act. I thought of how Jaela had confused me, or how I thought she had confused me for someone else until I saw the others like me. I recalled how they seemed so powerful and strong, and of how Kayli described Naomi as a hero and a force of good. Everyone I know would probably have loved this woman, how could they not? Strong and kind; beautiful and quick; loving and courageous; and so many things I could never be.

I returned to the inn after dark and decided to walk in as an elf as these people would expect. Kayli’s mother showed me to her room, but she called it mine as well. She quietly let me in and I was greeted by the site of Kayli sleeping fitfully on one of the two beds. The door closed behind me as softly as it opened and the tiny space suddenly closed-in on me. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth, and I willed myself not to run away. If this room was in my past then I needed to see it as I would have seen it then.

A long while passed before I opened my eyes. Kayli was still asleep and I began to take in the contents of the room.

Its size told me that two sharing it would have to be very close. Kayli’s sensual form moved very little as I took small steps around the room, and I imagined just for a moment how close her and Naomi must have slept when they shared one small bed. I wondered still, since she mentioned how Naomi was unnatural like me, how she could have possibly been comfortable. As I looked a bit more, I dismissed these thoughts as silliness and moved into my wolf body to use my better senses.

It took just a few minutes and a scent crossed my nose which brought warm feelings to me. I followed it to a tiny bottle on a dresser; it was her perfume. I spent an hour maybe, just drawing the scent into my heart, trying to awaken anything else it would tell me before I thought to see if the scent was anywhere else.

My nose brought me to the bed, and to the beautiful songstress so peacefully sleeping just an inch from me. The scent was on her too, stronger near her neck, so I knew it really was hers. I felt warmth and a glowing happiness coming from her even as she slept, and even more: love, joy, contentment, and trust as she began to wake. Suddenly, eyes barely open, her heart was possessed of fear as she saw me and pulled herself and her blankets against the wall as if to hide there.

I stepped back from her bed and turned to the door. “Sorry,” I told her with my mind. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Her fear dissolved into curiosity as I imagine she compared what she saw with what she hoped to see.

“Naomi?” she queried as she peered over the blankets. Kayli slid a hand slowly toward me; her reach extending as if still afraid the strange wolf might bite her.

“Ayanna,” I replied, taking a tiny step back toward her.

I could feel her hope slip slightly as she slid from her bed and put her arms around me.

“I, just,” she tried to speak as her emotions brought her to tears. She cried for several moments and I tried to get my thoughts organized through the waves of emotions pouring in through the ear cuff. I could feel her mix of emotions flowing through her as her tears flowed, her feelings saturating my own as their physical expression dampened my fur.

“It’s,” I tried to explain. “This is so much. I’m a bit overwhelmed, too overwhelmed to sort it all out.”

Kayli kept crying and clutching to me in the same way I held on to Malidin when I needed stability. He suggested that this might be an act, but I could hardly imagine so much coming from one who was not genuine. Still, I clung to my half-desire for this to all be a horrible mistake as she emerged from her sobbing.

“I’m just so glad you’re alive!” she exclaimed, wiping her eyes. “I always knew that you were, deep down in my heart, but I couldn't find you.”

“But,” I began my challenge, “I don't understand then. Why did you stop looking?”

She let her fingers glide through my fur but said nothing. Instead, she turned to her bed to pull something out from under the mattress. One piece at a time as she fished for the items with one hand and the other remaining touching me, she produced four pieces of burned and twisted metal that even I could tell had once been a mighty weapon like those turned against me by those others like me. This one however, when it was whole, was a work of artistry that made my most recent encounters seem like wind-cast branches in comparison.

“We looked for over a month,” she explained through her sniffles. “Syria and Maerin used their most powerful detection spells, and they said you were gone as if you had never existed, nothing left!” Her voice squeaked as tremors of emotion broke within her. Through her face and the magical ear cuff I could see her reliving a time when all around her told her there was no hope.

I was captivated by the item, tentatively reaching to touch it as if the heat that had deformed it might still remain. Warm familiarity seeped into my mind like the first rays of spring sun after a cold winter. Part of me somewhere was very happy to see these pieces of metal, but I could not remember any more.

“Did this belong to Naomi?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied managing a tiny smile. “You took it on all your adventures. I was almost a little jealous of it.” Her hand went to the pieces alongside my paw. “Syria seemed crushed,” she added. “She kept saying that we were all doomed, that all hope was lost.” Kayli did not explain what this meant, and I did not ask. I simply accepted it as something to consider later if and only if she could convince me that this Naomi and I are the same person.

“Did you not adventure with her?”

“Our adventures were of a different sort,” she said, “after you had come back from Xen'drik that last time.”

“The last time?” I queried as I looked up to see if I could detect the lie. “I have only heard fanciful tales of that place.” I knew this had to be false. From what I remembered of the tales of Xen’drik, nobody just came and went from there; most who go never return, so how could someone as incapable as I do so many times? Kayli’s explanation never wavered.

“I can think of at least three different times you went to Xen'drik, almost as if you were drawn there.” Then she continued, “According to Syria, that's where you were, um, ‘born’.”

She explained when I first arrived at the inn that she knew of my nature. Her and her family all knew that I was not a creature born as all others, and that I existed much as the warforged race. Still, they all seemed so genuine in welcoming me as a lost member of their own blood. I could see that this had to be a mistake because this wonderful person they spoke of could not be me.

“This Naomi sounds like so much I could never be,” I said as I began to consider I should just leave before I made things worse for them.

Kayli brought her hands to my face, pressing gently and looking into my eyes as if to pour her sincerity directly into my soul.

“I never dreamed I could become what I am before I met you,” she said. “I would still be that waitress who can sing, but you convinced me that I could be more.”

The room around her began to close in on me again, even as her happy memories brought more tears to her beautiful green eyes. I asked if we could go outside even though it was yet dark, and she agreed happily but I misunderstood this to mean that Naomi also did not like to be confined.

“Just like old times,” she explained. “We would always wake up early, go to the park, and greet the dawn together.”

I padded along with her in the direction I left that first morning. She continued to explain how she and Cald had continued to search even after my other friends had given up and returned to the land of the elves. She said that her whole family had been taken there by this Naomi at one point after she had rescued them from somewhere far below in the city.

“Rescued,” the word stung my own heart to think it. “That really doesn’t sound like me.”

She stopped and kneeled in front of me, again engaging my eyes with her own. “You were my hero. You were always running off rescuing people, sacrificing yourself for the good of others.”

“If I was your Naomi,” I countered, “I guess it’s good you knew me then,” I looked away, “before I kept screwing everything up. If it wasn’t for Malidin, I might just be hiding in the forest now instead of doing anything.”

“You can’t blame yourself for Trina,” she consoled. “I’m sure you did everything you possibly could.”

“Malidin said that too,” I explained, “but I can’t help thinking that I should have been able to keep her safe. She’s just a little girl!”

“I know you won't rest until she's safe,” Kayli told me. “That's just part of who you are.”

Yes, she knew my heart in at least that regard.

Kayli smiled reassuringly to me and turned to sit on the park bench just a few yards away. I realized in an instant that this park, this bench, were the same place I fled to without any idea of where I was going when I needed space. The lamp behind me was where Marius and Cald stood for hours and just watched to make sure I was safe. She situated herself on the bench in a way that left ample room for me if I chose to share it. When I returned to the form she recognized, her gaze told me that she was pleased with what she saw even when I sat almost arms-reach away from her.

She offered her hand to me with a very warm and genuine smile. When I hesitated, she said, “I won’t bite, I promise.”

I guided my right hand against her left, trying to remember touching her. I felt her emotions through our link, feelings of warmth, happiness, and love all became tangible. When she took my hand, I could feel my own doubts crumbling before the waves of sincere and honest feelings. If this was an act as Malidin suggested, I could not tell.

My other hand unconsciously went to the ear cuff that conveyed so many things from her to me and back.

Rubbing the jewel I said, “I promised once to never look back to what might have come before, but I could not make myself take this off. I had no idea where it came from, no sense of who it belonged to, but I could not discard it.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” she replied. “I don’t know if I would have found you had you not had it on.”

“Oh?”

“During the play,” she explained, “I kept getting this feeling, of sorrow, of sadness, and loss—the very same things I was feeling—but it’s different in the earring. It wasn’t the same as before, it was fuzzy and indistinct, almost like a memory of a feeling. But I found myself glancing over at the balcony, where you were sitting, over and over. I didn’t even know why until the lights came up slightly and I could see you.” She took a breath and continued, “It’s the greatest gift you ever gave me. It kept you near me even when you were far away, and it brought you back to me from beyond the grave.” An explosion of joy at her last words brought tears to her eyes once again.

The first rays of dawn brought her attention to the same horizon I was drawn to the previous morning, her hand clutching gently to mine. I watched the breeze play on her hair and the glint of the first moment turn her eyes into shining emeralds, and then I too turned to see the spectacular sunrise with her.

In the dazzling light I could see Ghoststalker and the rest of the pack all around the park. Dreamseeker sat next to me and Windchaser lay underneath the bench on Kayli’s other side. As the sun cleared the horizon the whole pack began baying in a mournful chorus that brought a chill to my skin. Then something amazing happened.

I put my free hand gently on Dreamseeker thinking that Kayli might not question my arm hanging out in the air, but at the same time Kayli reached down to do the same with Windchaser! She could see, hear, and even touch the whole pack! Ghoststalker chided me for thinking this odd before he and most of the pack left, but Dreamseeker acknowledged that he found it interesting that the girl from my past would have such an odd talent along with me.

We conversed with the two remaining wolves for a little while, but I could not shake that Dreamseeker simply accepted at face value that Kayli was part of my past. This friend of mine is very wise and long in experience, and for him to qualify her as being from my past, that weighed heavily within my heart. However, I was not completely convinced yet so I asked her to share more with me so I might remember.

Kayli said that there were a lot of different places that we could go. There was a place Naomi used to work when she was in Sharn, and several other places of significance.

“But honestly,” she said, “this park and our room, they were ‘ours’.” Then she told me a story of how she had followed Naomi into the night just to find out where she went, and of how her hero had saved her from her own foolishness. She acknowledged that it was not the safe way to find such a thing out, but she said with a bemused smile, “I guess we’re all a little crazy sometimes.”

“You seem more like me than I like her,” I observed.

“Perhaps,” she said, “but I don’t think you’ve changed nearly as much as you seem to think.”

“I guess I’ll have to take your word.”

“Nao—,” she began, almost calling me by the name she wanted to hear, “Ayanna, I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay here with me. You have an important destiny, so important that even when you don’t’ want to it finds you anyway. I’m just so happy you’re still alive!” Her arms wrapped tightly around me and her heart cried joy and relief through the ear cuff. “Even if we can’t go back to the way things were, I hope you’ll still come back and see me when you can.”

Something as simple as “the way things were” had no meaning for me anymore. The way I remembered my life seemed so pale and bland compared to the life she described with her Naomi.

“I know that you have changed, and found a new and very different life,” as she stroked Windchaser’s ears. “But I truly believe that what we had, have, is something that transcends all of that.”

I confessed that part of me wanted to believe, but part of me was afraid for so many reasons. Kayli apologized for what she believed was pushing me too hard to be who I used to be, but I reassured her that I wanted to know about my past. I also told her that I did not know if I would ever get this opportunity again as I may never come back. She understood with a resignation that I imagine came from her time watching her Naomi walk out the door to adventure, not knowing for certain when or even if she would return. She suggested we use the ear cuff and, while I grasped her feelings, apparently Naomi had made them to be able to communicate as well.

Closing her eyes tightly as she concentrated, looking very cute with her tongue poking out between her lips, she cast “Can you hear me?” into my ears. It was not like the telepathy I had become used to, it was a sound as if she breathed the words into my ear.

“Yes!” I exclaimed.

“We can’t do it often,” she said, opening her eyes, “I think it’s limited to once a day, but it’s something.” She smiles so openly, so easily when she’s happy, I and imagine she smiled a lot when her Naomi was around.

“Quite amazing,” I said, her smile bringing mine out. “I don’t think I’ve ever imagined such a thing.”

She raised an eyebrow and said, “Well, you did make them. Specifically, so we could keep in touch while you were adventuring.” Then a shadow came over her face as she continued. “They’re also one of the reasons I let Cald convince me you were really gone. He told me that if you were alive and capable, nothing would stop you from contacting me and letting me know what happened.”

I thought I had found the hole in her story, so I pounced. “Do you not believe in love transcending everything else?” I threw at her. “Were you just making that up?”

She burst into tears and I knew that I had been wrong again. Kayli’s words came through tears of frustration and pain that I felt on top of my own regret for causing them again. “I searched!” she cried. “I looked everywhere! I didn’t eat, sleep, or even rest unless someone forced me to.” She collapsed into me. “I didn’t want to give up, but I couldn’t find you. My body may have failed in my search for you, but my love was never diminished.”

Kayli held to me and I put my arms around her. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was mean and I’m so sorry. I just don’t know what to question anymore. Please forgive me,” I begged of her, “whether or not I am her, you have already hurt enough and I have no right to add to it.”

“Of course I forgive you,” she said. Her sobbing subsided after several minutes and, sniffling, she and I talked more of her search and of what happened.

“I just wish that I’d kept looking, I might have found you eventually.”

“Mayhap she was not meant to be found,” I offered.

“Maybe,” she conceded, “but I shouldn’t have let it go. All I could think was that you’d find a way to get back to me because you are so much more capable than I am. So I came home, to where I knew you could find me. And I waited. And I prayed that you would come back to me. I’ve never given up. I may have given up the search, but I’ve never, not for one instant, given up hope that you would come back.”

“I hope as well, for you,” I said. I told her that the others would let me know when it was time to depart, and I promised to try to remember what I could.

“I’m happy just being near you again,” she explained. “You have no idea how good it is. Even if you never remember, and we never go back, I’m happy just having you back in my life.”

“Would that really be enough though? In time?” I posed

“I won’t lie,” she told me, “I’d like things to be the way they were, but I would sooner sacrifice my own happiness than force you into something that wasn’t what you wanted.”

I was in awe for the self sacrifice she was willing to grant for her Naomi. “You must have made Naomi very happy,” I said. “I imagine you sacrificed a lot for her.”

“It never felt like a sacrifice. It felt just right.”

“Sounds like a dream.”

“Sometimes.” Her smile warmed me again.

She told me of her start in singing and how Naomi encouraged her from the very first day they met. She told me of how she got started in the theater and how her love had arranged an audition that ultimately got her onto the stage at the Diamond Theater. So accomplished had Kayli become that she was able to take over for the playwright that took her in after she left.

I told her that I had enjoyed her performance and that I would remember it always, and I watched her easy smile become framed by a radiant blush. When I teased her about it, she blushed even more. Then, in an impulse of passion, Kayli showed me that this was no act. Her lips met mine in an electrifying kiss beyond anything I had ever imagined. For that moment, that instant of intimate contact, I knew her without restraint and myself without reservation, and I could feel our souls touching.

Had she held the kiss for a moment longer, my legs would have collapsed under the weight of her adoration, but she broke it and turned away so I could not look at her.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a hushed tone. “I shouldn’t have. I don’t want to rush you, or overwhelm you, or make your life any more difficult than it already it.” In this life, she had been my first kiss. And, as I found out later, she had been Naomi’s first as well. Even if her hopes are wrong and I was not Naomi in the past, the parallels are too strong to deny. I resolved to learn as much as I could before we departed on the continuance of our quest.

I spent the rest of the week engaged with the whole Laran family as I tried to recover a past I began to wish for. Several nights were spent in the room with Kayli and we talked until her body could no longer stay awake. True to her word to not pressure me, she did not ask me to bed with her. I sat on the floor next to her bed, or on the other bed which was Naomi’s. Kayli told me that, when the family finally knew what was going on with them, that Naomi’s bed was seldom used save by Kal’Ryu, a small dragon companion that had come to the inn to find Naomi while she was away.

Cald spoke of Naomi’s calm in the face of arrest by a corrupt city watch and at times she faced the worst criminals in Sharn. Early-on, Naomi had become an influence on him befitting an older sibling though she was not. Her spirit made him want to stand up against those who would do wrong, just as she did.

Elina spoke of a ray of sunshine that walked into their lives and brought them out of the darkness remaining from the Last War with an easy smile and a gentle way that seemed so untouched by the horrors of those years. The woman laughed heartily when she described how Kayli and Naomi believed they had kept their affair a secret from the family, but Harel did not seem amused by the comment.

Hearing of Naomi made me feel very small in such a large world. She had faced dragons and unspeakable evils, and still retained the kindness and compassion that marked all who spoke of her. Kayli even had an adventurer chronicle that told what I assumed to be an exaggerated tale of her single-handedly taking on a black dragon to save a ship full of people. According to the story, half of the people on the ship had been the crew of another ship that the same dragon had destroyed some weeks before. Kayli said that the book did not find its way to her until months after Naomi vanished. She said a girl, Mildred Dolaire a student at Morgrave University, who spoke with Naomi many months before about relating her adventures through an assignment came across the book and brought it in to show the woman that had become a living hero to her. “She came in often,” Kayli recalled, “and you would always take the time to speak with her. You also stopped by her class if you had time when you visited Morgrave, just to say, ‘hello’.”

Kayli’s eyes glistened on the edge of tears when she recalled how Elina had to give the girl the bad news.

“Mama said she took it well,” Kayli relayed. “She said Mildred told her she would be strong ‘because Naomi would be strong’.”

“Where is she now?” I asked.

“Well,” Kayli said, “she finished her studies last year, and we got a letter from her saying she was working in a ministry office in Wroat.”

I thought Kayli would suggest that I try to find her if I passed that way, but she did not. No, Kayli has not pushed at all and I have not been able to find a single thing to indicate she is being false in any way.

When it was time to return to the airship and depart the city I had Kayli’s promise to send a message every day. She said she did not expect a reply, but she would consider each one a blessing. I told her I would return when I could. Elina reminded us that we were all welcome back any time we chose to do so. These were truly wonderful people.