After the Baron (Hazera)
From Toosigma
| Title | After the Baron |
|---|---|
| Author | Julia - Hazera |
| Campaign | Shattered Prisons |
| Session | Intersesion - post-Voyage to the Mror Holds |
| Posted | April 4, 2007 |
| Game Date |
I am a fool.
No one has ever been unkind to me. No one except old friar Vincent; who slapped me once for stealing his stake and made me chop wood all day. But as I learned with time even his actions were full of love for me.
When the Baron’s wicked nephew captured me and the others I was more enraged that anyone would treat me so poorly. I was a fool to think that was the worst a man could do. Even with the baron’s nephew I let myself see it from his side. Stupidly I thought it was a misunderstanding, stupidly I thought he was a good man doing the wrong thing. The Baron… I hoped that he saw value in having me as an ally… I hoped he came to apologize for his nephew. I prayed the nice dress and bizarre behavior were only crudeness and clumsiness, veiling a true attraction. Beyond all clear evidence I believed I could talk my way out of it. And if not I believed I could fight.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE WAS UNDEAD!! Why does it seem so obvious now? His touch was as cold as mine, the living burn with life! I was afraid… I was afraid and alone, my spells were practically gone from all the combat before. I missed it, because I was afraid.
I thought a soldier would save me… I thought I thought I thought!! I am a fool!
It’s time to grow up. If I believe that loosing my virginity to a rapist would leave me with a blood lust I could not control then who am I to keep something so dangerous to loose, that I can’t protect. How arrogant to even let myself fall into that situation. My world has turned on its head when the very things that made my father proud, my kindness, my forgiveness, my purity are the very things that press me into doing unspeakable evil. Even now safe from the Baron I can feel a rage burning in the back of my mind that goes beyond revenge. I am loosing my sole. Every time I summon the undead the burning grows stronger and my will gets weaker. I am sacrificing my very essence for the lives of my friends.
I want my daddy. I want him to come back and make all of this stop. ALL OF THIS CONFLICT. I don’t understand the dream I don’t want to understand; I just want to be with him. He could teach me how to be like him… Then I would have the power to stop wicked men like the Baron. I could chain HIM to a bed, and take his dignity, his freedom, and his life. I could pull the skin from his body and force him to eat it just to see the terror in his eyes… Just to hear him scream.
(a drop of blood on the journal.)
I can’t let this win… I can’t change my path…
No NO NO Even if I broke My Dear Baron, even if I reduced him to a dog that crawls and whines at my feet I know my vengeance, my rage couldn’t be satisfied. This goes beyond him. He is only my focal point.
I want my father.
I want Marius, or a man like him. Strong, valiant, protective. I could hide in his embrace and it would all go away.
Why did my father come, how did he know? Is he in League with the Andarians? Why didn’t he take me with him!!! If I try to kill myself again will he come back? Or is my Dearest Baron the Key? I could endure anything to be with my father, to learn his powers, to be at peace.
Stupid What a bargain, and what a stupid girl would think her father would want his beloved child ravished by that beast. Why else save you? Did he? Did he save me from the Baron or did he save me from my self. He saved you from the situation HOW DID HE KNOW!!! He felt your need and came to you. Now you’re the stupid one… He was watching, he was scrying. He didn’t arrive until I went to kill myself… HE DIDN’T Care what the Baron did so long as I lived. So long as I lived… He knew what I would become… He wanted…
NO! No I looked in his eyes, he loves me.
It doesn’t matter… Shut up. I have to get rid of my stupid weakness, grab a bottle of wine and a handsome young man and give this away before it is taken. So what if it’s the only uncorrupted aspect of me. So what, I can’t let my Father, or the Baron, or fate push me to that precipice again. Make the best of it little girl, try to find someone kind.
Later we’ll solve the riddle of whether he saved me from rape or suicide.
And my Dear Baron… I have to think of a way to harm you. I am weak against the undead… but I wont be next time. At least you were cleaver enough to show me that.
